![]() ![]() The scariest ride in the park is Face Off. All of the rides with lap-bars had seatbelts recently installed, so there is always some idiot that takes 5 minutes to open their lap bar, then they get all excited once they figure out how to open it, try and jump up, but realize their seatbelt is still on. If you are within spittin’ distance of this ride, wear a poncho. ![]() Drop Zone is a 200-somethin foot tower that, you guessed it, takes you up and drops you. Top Gun, like a couple other rides, is over-rated. How are the rides? Well, before you ride the Son Of Beast, or S.O.B., as I call it, make sure that you are: A- under 5 foot 6, B- purchase a personal hydraulic system for your seat, and C- inject novocaine into your midsection. A 300 pound, 45 year old woman waving around a cigarette, donning a two piece bathing suit. As for the white trash, just imagine a combination of the last three groups of people. Rednecks always capitalize the “Take a friend Tuesday” offer that comes with a Gold Season Pass Upgrade, usually in the form of purchasing an average of 5 passes per family, then going to P. The smokers merely set the general aroma that is often associated with King’s Island. Then, instead of taking advantage of the opportunity to exercise by walking around the theme park, severely fat people rent mobility scooters instead. I have witnessed several instances of our unhealthily overweight friends being denied passage on the roller coasters due to seat size, and possibly maximum weight capacities. The obese, however, are the rejects of the rejects at Kings Island. Quite popular in the area, it is common to act as a hub for the teens, young adults, and families, as well as the local obese, smokers, rednecks, and white trash. This is a theme park that is located about 20 miles Northeast of Cincinnati. While the 2007 season was not perfect, especially transition between ownership "regimes," expect a bright future for this midwestern family fun tradition. ![]() People also anticipate the addition of new restaurants in the future. ![]() With Cedar Fair, Kings Island has re-emphasized cleaniness, live entertainment, and thrill rides. PKI was also notorious for lackluster food service, spotty cleanliness, and neutering/removing classic rides, and oddly enough, a de-emphasis on live entertainment due to budget cuts in the mid-2000s. When compared to attractions at Cedar Fair, Six Flags, and especially Universal, Busch, and Disney parks, Paramount's additions were seen as lackluster. When owned by Paramount, KI was known for installing family attractions and themed rides, but some of these attractions were notorious for theming that would fall apart. In 2007, Cedar Fair began removing Paramount references from KI and other "former" Paramount parks, including changing the park's name to simply Kings Island. In 2006, the parent company of PKI sold it and four other Paramount Parks to "rival" amusement park chain Cedar Fair. PKI had many rides, attractions, and buildings named after Paramount and/or its better-known movies, such as TOP GUN, Days of Thunder, Face/Off, and The Italian Job. From 1993 until 2006, the park was known as Paramount's Kings Island. There is also a large collection of steel coasters, including Vortex, Flight of Fear, and Firehawk. There is also Son of Beast, the world's tallest and fastest wooden coaster from 2000 until 2006, it had a vertical loop, making it the only wood coaster to do so. Besides the Beast also has The Racer, a twin wooden coaster that is credited for sparking the "coaster renaissance" when it opened with the park in 1972. There is a large water park, Boomerang Bay, which is included with admission, and Nickelodeon Universe, one of the highest ranked kids areas in the industry. It is known for its many roller coasters, the most famous being The Beast, still the world's longest wooden roller coaster. A popular themed amusement park located about 25 miles from downtown Cincinnati. ![]()
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